For those who can't understand why there is so much marriage pressure on a Vietnamese girl's shoulders...
Alright, so basically what I often hear from people these days are like "When are you going to get married?", "When can I see your boyfriend?", "When will you bring him home?", etc. I know a lot of my foreign friends find it ridiculously crazy, so today I'm gonna show you another look at this issue, from the perspective of the locals.
Firstly, I have to admit that I'm not ready to settle down yet even when I'm 28 already. But my road to 30's is gonna be bumpy. In the next 4 years, if I still can't bring a guy home and tell my parents his name is gonna be on my marriage certificate soon, they will definitely panic!!! I don't like the pressure at all, of course it's no fun, but I kinda understand why people have to be in such a rush. Vietnamese people are known for being really family-oriented and we do believe that we can only focus on our career after having a stable family. In addition, we are quite protective of our beloved ones, and we also want to be kept updated what's going on with them, whether they are happy or not. I know it's different from the Western culture, where people are really independent and aware of others' privacy; we here are supposed not to just think of ourselves. I know some people who were not ready enough, but they still made the move just because they think it's the responsibility they must take. Actually I feel pretty guilty when my dear grandmother said that she wants to be able to see my husband, my children, and I know if I hope to make her wish come true, I have to hurry. But it's such a dilemma. Of course, I want her to attend my happy wedding, to see how cute my babies will be, but at the same time I also want to find my real soulmate, who is going to love, appreciate and treat me well, who will be the great father of my kids. And I can't tell who he is just after a short time knowing each other.
So I don't feel irritated by those questions anymore because I know they are well-meaning. The main problem is just that my definition of "happy" is a little bit different from theirs as at the moment, I know I'm happy to be single. And if you are happy living on your own, you should not push the marriage thing-y either.